Tribes...

I'm a bearded man. Just putting it out there for those of you who haven't glanced up at the profile picture, or those who did and just assumed I'd lifted a shot from a serial killer fan-site. Bearded men in Australia, perhaps world wide, seem to own membership of a covert society made up exclusively of the facially hirsute. I like to call it the fraternity of bearded men.

As I ordered my coffee this morning at 'Fundamentals' in Byron Bay the magnificently bearded man serving me enthusiastically embraced my company. This brother from another mother saw in my beard a kindred spirit and I felt included. Then on the bus out to Bluesfest day two Rory from Brisbane complemented my beard as he enthusiastically related his struggles to grow and integrate a beard into his own life.

Beards everywhere and I felt myself in the eye of a bearded storm!

Now many people would acknowledge football fandom as the Australian tribe most identified with. Walk into a pub within a team's geographical footprint and you'd better be fan of the wherever lions or the hereabouts crows. Failure to be a local fan or worse to support the opposition will at least garner disapprobation, at worst a swift blow to the head.

'The Beards' with me right of stage!

But I'm not sure football fandom is really tribal in the same sense as beardom. Once a week football fans don the colours and go a little mad. The rest of the time they resume their lives and pass through life unobserved. But communities do not rest, tribes do not disperse to offices come Monday and the bearded wear their tribal brand everywhere they go.

Australian band 'The Beards' epitomise the tribal camaraderie that is beardom. They sing of triumph and desire in 'I'm in the mood, for beards!' but also of the discrimination faced by bearded men and women in 'This beard stays'. And really that is the essence of any tribe.  

You may have your society of secret handshakes, winks and nods but have you spent even a fortnight growing a decent beard? Tribes require an initiation. You will know when you are welcomed; women or men you've never met will smile, stop you and chat because you are kin. 

But never forget your beardless past! We all long to belong, crave the acceptance of our peers. No one deserves to stand, chin bare, against the cold alone. Because belonging is a privilege, and one we should extend to all our beardless brethren. Fully one half of the planet's population can't grow beards and yet without them no beard would ever exist!

Having a beard gives us a responsibility; to extend the warmth we feel with everyone we meet. Let no one miss the warmth of our embrace, or the rash of our pash!

Opportunities Missed...

A weekend has passed following broadcaster John Laws comments questioning whether a caller, Carole, was at fault for the sexual abuse she suffered from age six. Laws is singularly unrepentant for both his line of questioning and the attitudes that underly it. Lashing out at critics he suggested that anyone who has a problem with the interview can "go to hell".

Almost a week gone and the issue slips quietly from the news agenda. Perhaps the greatest shame is the missed opportunity to honour the story of Carole and offer support to victims of sexual assault. By framing the interview around blame and provocation Laws has potentially scared women who are struggling with their own sexual assault, making them reluctant to report their abuser.

Rape and sexual assault are on agenda worldwide. In India the brutal gang rape and murder of a 23 year old woman sparked protests throughout the country aimed at better protection for women. While in the Maldives a 15 year old girl has been sentenced to 100 lashes for 'fornication' after suffering sexual abuse at the hands of her step-father.

These cases and thousands like them are often described as the product of outdated traditions and a lack of gender equality. Where women have relatively depressed financial and social situations they have less opportunity and inclination to report their attackers.

Meanwhile in Australia people ask if the work of feminism has been achieved?

The Australian Institute of Family Studies describes sexual assault as "one of the most underreported of all personal crimes". They report an estimated 44,100 persons over the age of 18 were victims of sexual assault in the reporting period of 2005. The Australian Institute of Criminology, in a 2001 report on 'Sexual Violence in Australia' report that 18% of Australian women have experienced sexual assault in their lifetime. In all these reports it is acknowledged that data gathering is can be limited and complicated by factors such as a reluctance to report. Therefore figures may be much higher.

Despite all this John Laws questioned Carole, a victim of sexual assault, as to whether she may have contributed to the assaults she experienced. Laws claims he was "keeping it light". Listening to the interview he sounds uncomfortable. What is not widely reported in the media is that Laws did acknowledge that Carole had gone through a terrible experience. Yet when Carole's voice becomes strained he does not stop. We have little knowledge as to whether Carole is really coping with her experience and Laws offered no support opportunities to listeners who may have experienced the same assault.

One of the greatest difficulties in combating sexual assault and rape is how often it goes unreported. Laws contributed to this phenomenon of underreporting by implying that the assault could in some way be the victims fault. In talking about 'attractiveness', he perpetuated the myth that some women are 'asking for it'.

Victims of sexual assault need support to take back the control and dignity that has been stolen from their lives. John Laws needs to shut up until he learns this...

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If this blogspot or any of the issues brought up by John Laws comments have affected you there are support services available in Australia:

Lifeline provide 24 hour crisis support on 13 11 14 

or visit their website at www.lifeline.org.au for a list of services available in your area.

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If you'd like to take action on this issue:

GetUp! and Destroy the Joint have a petition requesting Laws apologise

and undergo training to better support victims of abuse.

Blame...

Let's get this out of the way from the outset: victims are never to blame for rape or sexual assault.

Yet prominent Australian broadcaster John Laws yesterday asked a woman who had been abused at age six "was it in any way your fault?" Laws goes on in the interview to question whether the woman was provocative during the nine years of abuse she suffered and whether or not she was attractive. Following criticism of the interview Laws stood by his comments, claiming he was "trying to keep it light".

A few days ago I wrote about men and feminism. I posited that for men to contribute they must first challenge their assumptions about equality, women and society and often stop talking; taking time to consider how these assumptions inform the conversation.

At a guess John Laws would not subscribe to my position on this. The self proclaimed 'King of Radio' speaks with full confidence that people are listening. To stop talking would be akin to death for him. His claim that he was keeping it light reveals his deep need to entertain, not challenge or inform. There is no place in his world for challenging assumptions.

This makes Laws a dangerous presence on the radio. Over fifty-four years of broadcasting he has garnered a huge audience, many who see no need to question what Laws says. Laws is the embodiment of oppressive, patriarchal discourse; an old, white guy talking without thinking, who is primarily interested in maintaining his own position.

How do we challenge such ingrained beliefs?

A fantastic picture I saw online recently depicts a girl holding a sign. It says "Why am I dressed like a slut? Why are you thinking like a rapist?" This is the crux of the matter. Too often we focus on the overt, the visual, the thing we can easily identify and that is the victim. We must instead delve into the thoughts, attitudes and beliefs of the attacker; reflect them back in his face.

When John Laws speaks to his sympathetic audience he has his beliefs reinforced. Let's hold a mirror up to his comments and ask what it means when a seventy-seven year old man thinks a six year old or a fifteen year old girl can be provocative?

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There is a very real danger that this story could be overshadowed by other news events. Today's SMH has the story relegated to page #15. following eight pages of election coverage and three pages of advertisement.

You can help keep it on the news agenda, hold a mirror up to victim blaming and show Laws how disgusting his comments really are. Write to him at Radio 2SM and sign the petition demanding an apology started by 'Destroy the Joint'. Only by speaking out will we change the conversation.

Talking about Feminism...

I was overseas when Prime Minister Julia Gillard made her, now famous, misogyny speech to the Australian Parliament in October last year. It made an impact in Dublin, where I watched it late in the evening and I understand it was a similar sensation worldwide.

Back in Australia I find a country significantly energised by the debate on the role and mission of feminism in the public discourse. Movements such as 'Destroy The Joint' and large, social media driven responses to sexist comments by prominent radio announcers signal a refusal to tolerate a masculocentric view of the world.

But I'm a guy; do I have anything to contribute to 21st century feminism?

Man vs. Woolf

This question has plagued me since high school, maybe uni; whenever I first read Germaine Greer and Virginia Woolf. They opened my eyes to how fucked up men can make women's lives. My reading taught me a little on the notion of a dominate discourse and how minds, attitudes, opinions might be shaped simply by the way we talk about the world.

Virginia Woolf railed against the cacophony of male voices all trying to neatly encapsulate women. A litany of voices, pulled from all walks of life, spoke relentlessly with barely a voice raised against them. Woolf believed in an alternate discourse, created by women.

But to honour all voices some must be quietened.

An example...

Yesterday I went on a training course. In one of my non-blogging incarnations I'm a bartender and this was a cocktail making course, so nothing too strenuous.

Attending the course were about eighteen bartenders from around Sydney. Of our little group only four were female, so not quite 25%. Our instructor was a brand manager from the company running the course. Helping her were other brand managers from the company, again the female ratio was approximately 25%.

At one point during the training our instructor turned and thanked one of the guys for cleaning and clearing the bar while she made the drinks. He turned and responded in a mock, high-pitched voice mumming a maid. It got a huge laugh from the floor.

It was standard, bad pantomime aimed to keep the session light. That's what everyone responded to, with our instructor laughing alongside. On the other hand there was an implicit reinforcement in the mock-female voice that cleaning is predominately a woman's job.

Now I didn't jump up and shout "HOLD ON! Stop oppressing women and reinforcing the dominant discourse!" I'm not sure the crowd would even know what I was going on about. I didn't laugh either, I just sat there and thought about how deeply some of our prejudices go. It wasn't really my place anyway. Our instructor carried on and we all learned some new practical skills, even if some jibes continued.

If men are to contribute in a constructive way to feminist discourse it seems we may have to delve into our subconscious acts before attempting to make any conscious effort. By clearing away some of our assumptions we create the space to hear new ideas. By keeping our mouths shut when they might otherwise flap open we can create the space for those ideas to be spoken.